London Country Buses, the operators of the unreliable 347 bus route between Harefield and Uxbridge, have banned the popular publication the Harefield Scandal from their buses.

CEO of the bus company, Mr Arthur ‘Blakey’ Blake told the assembled media at a press conference yesterday ” As of today that so-called newspaper the Harefield Scandal is banned from all our buses!” When asked by the Scandal reporter Gladys Friday for an explanation he continued “It’s a load of made up shite innit? It’s not even funny anymore since they got rid of Uncle Moulder’s Problem Page. And you’re just a made up character, I mean, Gladys Friday, what sort of a name is that?”

Friday divulged that her Curriculum Vitae included an Award for Bravery Award for her reporting of the 1960s mods and rockers Brighton Riots, a long stint as reality TV Correspondent for the Observer and several years working as Max Clifford’s publicity agent. She has also scripted a new TV show that is due to hit our screens this spring, called Goggle Box Goggle Box in which families are filmed sitting around in their underwear watching Gogglebox, a programme about people sitting around in their underwear watching the telly. So there!

“See what I mean?” responded Blakey “It’s a load of made up old bollocks innit?”

Gladys Friday bashes one out.

A 347. God bless ’em.