The Harefield and Rural District Council is running a Lucky Car Registration Plate Draw throughout the month of June. Council operatives are out and about around the village collecting registration numbers to go into a prize draw at the end of the month. 

Men wearing overcoats and trilby hats have been seen with clipboards writing down numbers in every road in the village, with the exception of round Ash Grove where they are not welcome due to the planned construction of a multi purpose youth centre. 

The prizes range from an all expenses paid week’s holiday in Sarratt to a free hair loss consultation with Terry the Barber and a supermarket trolley dash in the Northwood Road Post Office. 

Many villagers are sceptical of The Council’s intentions though. Barry Tinfoil-Nutjob, 41, from DI Regan Drive on the Sweeney estate told the Scandal “What a load of old bollocks! Prize draw my arse! You can tell they’re not real council employees, they’re aliens selecting abductees. They have that funny creosote smell about them, that’s how you know “. 

Other residents thought the blokes from the council had more sinister motives. “I spoke to one of them and he said it’s a traffic survey for the hospital” reckoned Frodo Sixtoes, 106, a hobbit from Mount Pleasant. “So what they doing round here then? They must be Jehovah’s Witnesses or government spies or something”. 

Local busybody Maureen Horley, 71, from Newdigate Green, claimed to have insider knowledge “I know for a fact they have pushed through secret planning permission to demolish the Brownie hut near the Barley Path and build another youth centre.  It’ll be something to do with that you mark my words”. 

The Scandal’s current affairs reporter Ronnie Bosenquet interviewed the Lord Mayor of Harefield Baron Londis who told him “Moan moan moan that’s all them people ever do. Why don’t they all move to Denham and see how they  like it there? These people make me sick! Is this microphone on?”  

A car registration plate thief at work in Alone Again Naturally Avenue on the Gilbert O’Sullivan Estate. 

Bloke from the council.