The Grim Reaper himself turned up at Harefield United FC last night to run the line in the Allied Counties U18 League fixture between Harefield United and Aylesbury FC. 

With the season drawing to a close many match officials are already on holiday and Mr. Reaper was called in as a last minute replacement for regular assistant referee Derek Magoo. The sprightly two thousand plus year old has been a qualified referee since 1866 and regularly officiates at matches on the other side. 

The Reaper’s arrival at Preston Park caused much initial concern amongst club officials. “I thought he was coming for me” exclaimed club president Lord Dovedale, 79. “When I saw him pull up in his car and get his kit bag out the boot I thought that’s my lot. They call this job the Widowmaker y’know!”  

After the game which resulted in a one all draw Death promised to bring a team  from the other side to Preston Park for a pre season friendly against the first eleven.  Deceased players such as George Best, Bobby Moore, Sir Stanley Matthews and that Colombian that got shot after the World Cup are expected to feature but as Death said, that may change between now and then as more players become available for selection. 

Mr. Death gave an interview to the Scandal after the game. He told us “I’ve been a bit busy of late as more celebrities keep being added to my schedule by the Big Boss upstairs. However I’ve told him I’ll need the rest of the week off to recover from this so all well known showbiz personalities can relax until the weekend. Except possibly Bruce Forsyth”. 

Club spokesman, former player and stalwart Moulder Evans told our reporter “I thought the old fella Mr. Reaper had an absolutely super game. Top class he was. Well I can’t say anything bad about him can I? Not at my age, you’ve got to be careful!”  

Sports reporter Hugh Wossit.

The Grim Reaper keeps a beady eye on the aging referee Adolf Fairplay.