Harefield’s upmarket Dovedale Estate has won Britain In Bloom again for the sixth year in succession. 

The select development of bijou cottages and apartments, some of which date back as far as the mid 1960s, were originally accommodation for the workers at the Hill House Manor, owned by the Acrow family. 

When the tubular steel prop factory closed many workers bought their properties and made a killing selling them on to yuppies in the 1980s. Nowadays the residents are a mixture of young professional couples, semi retired gentlefolk and the odd satirical author or football club chairman. 

Gardener Pete Moss, from Sanitary Close, works full time on the estate keeping it looking colourful and vibrant. He told the Scandal’s gardening correspondant Jenny Talia ” I loves working here I does. I keeps the place looking nice and I makes a few bob on the side selling my special tomato plants, know what I mean? Got any Rizlas man?”  

The National Trust has been trying to buy the whole estate for several years now to open it up to the public and charge an entrance fee but the locals prefer to keep it as ‘Harefield’s hidden gem’. The lucky few who have been admitted into the allotments agree that they rival Kew Gardens in their beauty. With its own micro climate many keen gardeners grow tropical plants such as bananas, pineapples and date palms. The south facing vineyards produce the famous Harefield Merlot Avenue grape used in the fermentation of Mines Royale Chablis. 

The Award For The Britain In Bloom Award is to be presented by Charlie Dimmock at a ceremony at the Harefield Inn on a hopefully chilly Bank Holiday Monday, followed by a street party and barbecue down by the allotment gates where residents will gather to share peri peri chicken and smoke the traditional Dovedale Carrots. Two of the most popular acts from Harestock have been engaged to supply the live music, the Harefield Ukelele Orchestra will play their own version of west coast psychedelic jazz funk fusion to an oompah beat naked and boy band My Mate Moulder will perform a selection of Peter Andre’s greatest hits. 

The exclusive enclave is fiercely Anti-Monarchy and minor royals have been warned to stay away from the celebrations  although Mad Ken did tell our reporter “That Princess Eugenie is welcome here at the barbecue any time. I bet she’d like to try a bit of my pork in cider. Hur hur hur….!”