Total eclipse seen from round Ash Grove.

Harefield’s amateur stargazers were amazed to see the total eclipse visible from Harefield on Wednesday afternoon, two whole days after it appeared over America. The phenomenon, known as Eclipsarama, is so rare that it only reappears once in every ten thousand years. The next sighting is predicted to be possible this coming May Day.

Villagers were quick to react to the miracle. At St. Mary’s Church the Reverend Killjoy rang the bells and announced the Rapture. An angry mob with pitchforks and torches gathered on the common and assembled a ducking stool before marching to the library to burn the books. The Springwell Lock Morris Dancers performed the Dance of the Hangman’s Rites in the Legion Car Park and Jimmy the Hoover went for a quiet pint in the Kings Arms.

Bad light stopped play in the Harefield Old Boys Eleven versus the West Indies test match at the Cricket Club leaving the Windies desperate to avoid the follow on. Tony from the Harefield Emporium of Luxury Goods in the High Street started selling special ‘eclipse glasses’ made from paper plates. Hundreds took to the popular Facebook group Harefield Up Your Arse to ask why it was dark outside at school pick up time and the residents of the upmarket Dovedale Estate held an impromptu afternoon tea dance by the allotment gates.

Professor Wayne Bow from the John Penrose Institute of Complicated Studies called the Radio Free Harefield Peri Peri Lunchtime Phone In Show to explain the spectacle. “The daft bastards” he told talk show host Colin Lingus “They’ll believe anything. It’s just a cloudy day and the sun is trying to break through. Next thing you know they’ll start blaming the mayor for this. Eclipse my arse!”

“Eclipse my arse”.