The Harefield Post Office in Northwood Road is to offer free shopping trollies to their customers. It seems that it is not cost effective to convert the existing trollies to accept the new pound coin and rather than withdrawing the service, forcing shoppers to struggle with hand held heavy baskets around the vast store, the postmaster has dismantled the pound coin slot, making the service gratis for his loyal clients.

Store manager Geno Genosramjamband told the Scandal ” It turns out it would cost a pound per trolley to convert them to take the new pound coin. In a store this size that would cost us, ooh, at least a fiver so I thought we’d be better off making them free and passing the savings onto our loyal customers. Of course now shoppers can take advantage of the scheme and take their shopping straight home in their own personal trolley and naturally we trust them to bring them back next time. The service is so popular that I’ve had to order fifty new ones!”

In other shopping trolley related news, the Harefield and District Rural Council has taken on extra staff to cope with the large number of shopping trollies being dumped in the pond. We spoke to Wayne Harris, a mallard who lives on the pond with wife Cindy and the chicks. He reckons “It’s all the dry cleaners’ fault. See every time you get some gear back from them they put it on a new coat hanger. Eventually your wardrobe becomes full of the damned things and at night they escape to the pond where they breed and metamor…er, metermurf, meta, er change into shopping trollies. It’s a bleeding joke. They come over here getting free council homes in our pond while me and the missus are stuck in these bleeding reeds with the chicks sleeping three to a bed!”

“And that Councillor Pygmalion from UKWAK. What does he do about it? I’ll tell you. Fuck all!”