In a desperate bid to avoid relegation with  four games to go, all away from home, village team Harefield United believe they may have finally gained an advantage by embracing technology. Local ski-wear manufacturer Piste Up from Summerhouse Lane have made a pair of special six fingered goalie gloves for Harefield born and bred keeper Jake Balldropper. 

Jake told the Scandal “These new gloves fit me like, well, a glove. What with me having six fingers and that like. I always had trouble with the old gloves but I could never work out why. This now seems the obvious way forward”. The Hares have conceded 114 goals this season and are hoping this breakthrough will start to turn things around. 

Starting today at third placed London Colney the Hares are hoping for a second win on the road having beaten Bedford FC  2-1 last Tuesday night. 

“I still believe we can turn this around” Hares’ manager Jason Argonaut told our reporter “I’ve got total faith in the squad. Now if only we could find a pair of boots to fit the poor lad. Those size fifteen webbed hairy six toed hooves of his are a bit embarrassing every time we take to the field.”  

Club Spokesman, former player and stalwart Moulder Evans uttered “Him? He’s fucking useless! “. 

By Sports Reporter Hugh Wossit. 

  
Balldropper in training on Thursday night.