Residents of Harefield have been highly amused by their backward neighbours from the settlement at nearby Ickleham. Reports have come in from the Facebook page ‘Ickleham – It’s Just Simply Spiffing’ that the troglodyte type creatures who still live in caves have been hunting dinosaurs.

Sedley Grove, Travel Correspondent for the Harefield Scandal, was despatched to Ickleham on the 331 to photograph the primitive people but was attacked with sticks and stones. It it understood that the Neanderthal folk believe their souls will be stolen if their image is captured. Sedley said “My sister Eleanor Grove lives in Ickleham and I fear for her safety “.

Professor Brainiac from Harefield Secondary Modern School of Complicated Studies told us “Don’t forget these people are very undeveloped, they haven’t even learnt how to do cave paintings yet so we have no real idea of their social history”.

“In fact” he droned on and on “If you look at Ickleham on the map it still says There Be Dragons. Scientists examining the missing link have discovered that it was preceded by what we now know as Swakeleys Man”.

Scandal reporter Joe ‘Scoop’ Francis asked Harefieldians what their opinion was on the antediluvian humanoids from the other end of the Breakspear Road.

Terry the Barber said “Blinking Neanderthals. Need a good haircut the lot of ‘em” while Sweary Joe muttered “ Ickleham? Bunch of f@!?! Cg&£$€# and W@¥^% the B$€<~>”

The Man Who Walks Backwards Along Harvil Road said “Icklonians? Even I make them look backwards “. Hoppy the Geordie reckoned “Haddaway and shite man, they’re just a bunch of canny gadgies that’s aal man pet “.

The Vicar, Reverend Killjoy promised to “ Pray for their souls” whilst Corporal Moulder Evans from the Harefield Home Guards said “ They’re bleeding dangerous they are. Fuck knows what will happen if they discover fire!”