The first team players and management of Harefield United FC are set to defy FIFA’s ridiculous poppy ban in their match away to Hadley Wood & Wingate this Saturday. The club, who play in Division One of the Spartan South Midlands Stoby Fish and Chips League, have a proud tradition of wearing poppies in November since they were first formed as Breakspear Mental Institute FC back in 1842. 

The team plan to get around the farcical ban by playing in their pants. Manager Jason Argonaut told sports reporter Owen Goal ” The idiots at FIFA say we can’t wear poppies on our shirts so we won’t wear shirts. Simples. We’ll just play in our pants and stuff poppies in the waistbands”. 

Club historian Michael Madeupname continued “Every year since our inception this club wears poppies to honour those brave soldiers who went over the top in World War One on Christmas Day to play the Germans at footy, sacrificing their Christmas dinner and the Morecambe and Wise Christmas Special. As the sun goes down and the full time scores come in, we will remember them”. 

Coaches for Hares supporters leave the Preston Park Stadium at 13.00 Saturday lunchtime. The bar opens at 11.00 for those who wish to get tanked up beforehand. Poppy sellers will be onboard to enforce dress code. 

We will fight them on the beaches. We will fight them in our pants.