It was hotter than Honolulu in Harefield over the weekend as all around the village keen horticulturalists participated in World Naked Gardening Day. In temperatures of 27c Harefieldians stripped off, slapped on the sunscreen and got out there in the great British gardens, parks and allotments, stark bollock naked. 

On the common the Keep Harefield Tidy Group joined in the spirit of the day and picked litter bare arsed. Team leader Len Spruce, 67, even went paddling in the pond to clear away some water lilies and duckweed but gave up when a goose tried to peck at his soft grip dibber. 

At the allotment the Saturday working party cleared away some unsightly stubble then in the afternoon held a barbecue where the men brought along all sorts from jumbo sausages to chipolatas and some of the ladies had nice kebabs. 

Round Ash Grove Mrs.Wanton, 43,  who lives next to the park spent the morning trimming her front bush whilst her husband gave the back passage a good seeing to. Later she got out her husband’s extendable hose and refreshed his red hot poker. 

Lady Cameltoe, 79, from Bell End invited all comers to view her lady garden where Lord Cameltoe, 80, had planted his seeds and was displaying his plums. Not so keen on gardening in the nude, Pete Moss, 31,  their gardener stayed in his potting shed and sorted out his shrivelled shallots. 

Sally Fudgecakes, 53, widow, invited Mr Smudger, 65, retired, round from next door to help her with her shrubbery. He told us “I took my little sprinkler for her to have a play with and then I noticed that her lady’s fingers were all tangled up in her clematis. I gave her raised beds a good raking then sprayed her cherries with my special sticky potion and she was so grateful she took me upstairs for a shag”. 

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