Popular Harefield beauty spot Park Lane is to be pedestrianised. The outgoing Mayor of Harefield, Mr. Smudger from round Ash Grove, made it his last improvement to the village before retiring from public office. The popular rat run is famous for its sunsets and views over the Colne Valley towards the picturesque HS2 works.

Park Lane has been closed to traffic now for nearly a month and and villagers are already reaping the benefits with shorter journey times and less traffic through the High Street in the rush hour.

Mr. Smudger, who became Mayor of Harefield in a continuity error last year, has retired to Walmington-on-Sea. He told the Scandal “I wanted to leave the village something to remember me by and I thought pedestrianising Park Lane would be a fitting tribute. The hobbitses from Mount Pleasant are intending to hold a permanent funfair in the road, between the two junctions where the puddle normally lays”.

Senior hobbit Bilbo Muldoon, 217, a horseshoe hole driller from Dumpster Close added ” It’s lovely in Park Lane now with no traffic. We hold go cart races down the hill and naked hobbit volleyball outside the school gates. Next spring popular hobbit recording star Frodo Sheeran is playing an open air concert on the green by Belfry Avenue just in time for the magic mushroom harvest”.

Popular hobbit recording star Frodo Sheeran.