Following complaints from vegetarians that the new plastic five pound note is said to contain horse meat, the Village Bakers have won the Government contract to produce a new meat free version. 

The new fivers will be baked using a special recipe known only to Mr. Bunn the Baker and his wife Chelsea. When asked what goes into the money, Mr. Bunn was cagey about the ingredients, only admitting that he used flour, yeast, water, salt and a secret sauce he ‘Reduces from Mr. Robinson’s sausages but don’t worry, they don’t contain any meat at all anyway!’  

The notes go into production on Friday night with security being stepped up by the employment of Sixtoe Surveillance, a hobbit security firm from down Mount Pleasant but peckish homeward bound drunks will still be able to to go around  the back as usual for a pasty or a sausage inna bun. 

Vegetarian villagers are advised they can redeem their old new fivers at the Post Office for coins, or directly with the Bakers for a brand spanking new plastic veggie fiver. Mr. Bunn told the Scandal “Money makes the world go round. You give me an old fiver for a new one. I sell your old one round the back to Ali from the kebab shop who puts it in the kebab that you go round the corner and spend your new fiver on. What a scam! I’m a genius!”

Mr. Bunn tastes the new meat free fiver.